


Just need you

by Anonymous



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Multi, Self-Harm, Suicidal Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28085559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Remus tries to kill himself
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39
Collections: Anonymous





	Just need you

**Author's Note:**

> Vent fic that i wrote to deal with some stuff  
> Its really heavy, and doesnt have a resolution, please be careful reading this  
> And if youre going through these tags because you feel like i do: 800-273-8255  
> You deserve love. You deserve help. It gets better.

Patton froze when he walked into Remus's room. He blinked at the limp figure sprawled on the floor, no no no it couldn't be. 

“Remus?” He asked, his voice weak.

Nothing.

Patton swallowed, stepping closer.

An empty pill bottle, the lid still clutched in Remus’s hands.

Patton’s eyes traced up Remus’s arm, looking over the cuts, and he felt the blood drain from his face.

He dropped to his knees, pressing his hands to Remus’s pulse point. He couldn’t tell, though, over the pounding of his own heart, and his hands were shaking so hard and no no no-

Patton heard the front door open and close, Logan’s footsteps in the hallway. “Loves?”

Patton and Remus would usually be watching TV together this time of day, cuddled up on the couch in the living room.

But no, not today.

Logan’s footstep approached the room, stopping in the doorway.

Patton turned to look at him, his vision clouded with tears. “L-lo..”

Logan stepped forward, his face carefully blank. His hand replaced Patton’s against Remus’s neck, closing his eyes in concentration.

After a moment, Logan sighed a little in relief, counting under his breath.

“Call 911,” Logan said, his voice undecipherable, as he scrambled for the nearest fabric he could find, and wrapping up Remus's cuts, he couldn’t afford to lose more blood, his pulse was already so weak…

Patton stepped to the side, and pulled out his phone, his voice shaking as he tried to explain what happened.

5 minutes...Remus could hold on for five minutes, right?

Patton collapsed against the wall, trying to focus on the dispatcher’s voice.

Logan carefully rolled Remus onto his side, cradling him close and trying to keep it together.

“It’ll be okay,” Patton murmured, in some attempt to make things okay, but they weren’t, they couldn’t be, not when his love was  _ dying _ , when he might never see him again.

They sat there, for what felt like forever, but also only a moment, before there was a knock at the door.

Logan and Patton met each other’s eyes, and Patton shakily got up, as quick as he could, hurriedly opening the apartment door.

Patton let the paramedics go into the room-thinking of it as Remus’s made Patton’s heart ache even more-and he stood in the hallway, terrified.

Patton debated calling someone else. But who? Logan and Remus were the only people he ever wanted to talk to when he was feeling like this.

Patton could hear Logan talking quietly with the paramedics, but couldn't make out what they were saying. 

A few minutes later, one of the paramedics came out, giving Patton a sympathetic look. "We're doing everything we can, we're gonna take him to the hospital."

Patton nodded numbly. "Can-can we come with? O-or-"

They nodded sympathetically. "Of course."

Patton nodded, taking a deep breath.

Logan came out of the room a moment later, standing next to Patton so their shoulders were touching.

"Hey," Patton said quietly.

"Hi," Logan intertwined their fingers.

Patton squeezed his hand tight, shaking. "You okay?"

Logan just shook his head, his eyes fixed on the floor.

Patton nodded slightly. "Dumb question."

They stood there for a while, waiting, numb.

Patton whimpered softly when the paramedics carted Remus out of the room, his limp body sprawled across the stretcher.

Logan squeezed his hand a little tighter, stepping forward to follow them.

Patton followed, glancing around the apartment, wondering if he should take anythinh. Logan seems to catch on, grabbing his wallet and Patton's, and carefully draping Patton's coat around his shoulders.

Patton frowned a little. "It's s-summer."

"Traumatic events can trigger shock, which can lead to low body temperature," Logan mutters softly, factually. 

Patton searched his face for any decipherable emotion, finding nothing other than the blank, factual presence that Logan gave to strangers. Patton grew cold at that, the feeling of being shut out from the vulnerability and trust Logan had placed in him. A part of him wondered if he'd ever get it back.

No, no, he couldn't think like that. It would...it would be okay. It had to be.

Patton had been on an ambulance once before, but shock and the medications they had put him on had blocked out most of that memory. The combination of emotions swirling through his head didn't make it much easier to register his surroundings.

Patton sat on the bench next to Logan, not touching.

Patton looked around, trying for a distraction, but every piece of medical equipment just increased his panic.

The ambulance came to a stop, and Logan was grabbing his hand, guiding him out the back.

Patton tried to follow the stretcher, not wanting to let Remus out of his sight, as if that would change how he had barely been breathing, how he had looked so pale.

But a hospital nurse intercepted him at a set of terrifying double doors.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't let you past this point. I'll take you to the waiting room, get your information, and you can call whoever you need to."

Patton sobbed hopelessly, wiping at his tears harshly. "You-you don't understand-"

"Sir, he'll be well taken care of, you need to come with me."

Patton, sighed, burying his face in his hands.

"Sir?" 

He nodded minutely, heading toward the waiting room the nurse had indicated.

She gave him some forms to fill out, and a plastic pen with worn fake flowers taped to it. "Th-thanks."

He looked at the paper, trying to understand the questions, where was Logan? He was so much better at these things.

Wait. Where was Logan?

Patton felt the panic rise up in his chest again, no no no, he couldn't lose Logan again, he needed Logan.

He pulled out his phone, almost dropping it a few times because of how much he was trembling.

He sent a text to Logan, mostly gibberish he didn't bother to correct, Logan would understand. Logan always understood.

Then Patton went back to his contacts, staring, dreading.

He  _ really _ didn't want to have to tell Roman.

But someone had to.

Patton hesitated a moment, then pressing his number.

"Hello?" Roman answered casually.

Patton sobbed softly, stuttering out an explanation.

Patton was pretty sure most of it was indecipherable, but Roman managed to pick up hospital, Remus, and bad.   
“Hey, Patton, what happened?” Patton picked up the panic in his voice.

“Just get here,” Patton managed to get out.   
“Alright, I will,”

Patton hung up the phone, maybe a bit abruptly, still shaking. He glanced around the waiting room. Right. Logan.

Logan still hadn’t texted back, so Patton stood up.

Patton found Logan down the hallway, leaning against the wall and staring into space.

“Lo?”

Logan didn’t react.

Patton stepped forward. “Logan, love?”

“What are we gonna do?” Logan said, his voice empty.

“Logan…” 

Logan buried his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do…”

“Lo...hug?”

Logan didn’t stop him, so Patton stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Logan.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to know everything,”

“Says you…” Logan returned the hug, shaking.

“It’ll be okay,” Patton whispered.

“How do you know?”

“We’ve got each other.”

Logan sighed, clinging to Patton.

“Do you wanna go sit down?”

“Um…” Logan glanced around. “Quieter here.”

“Alright, we’ll stay here,” Patton guides Logan to sit against the wall, staying close to him.

“We should...call people?”

“Roman’s on his way, is there anyone you want?”

Logan shook his head, shifting closer to Patton.

They stayed crumpled on the floor together until Patton’s phone went off.

Logan looked up, rubbing his eyes.

“It’s Roman,” Patton stood, helping Logan up.

Roman was in the waiting room, talking to the receptionist.

He finished and turned, hurrying over to Patton.

Patton met him, hugging him tight.

Logan stood off to the side, trying to press down his own feelings as they sobbed into each other. Then, Patton reached out, grabbing Logan’s hand.

Logan broke at that gesture, letting Patton pull him close and crying silently.


End file.
